


What You Do To Me

by ariadnerue



Series: Powerful [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Jessica Jones - Freeform, Marvel/DC/Carmilla crossover, because why not, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadnerue/pseuds/ariadnerue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was only one way this made sense.  And it wasn’t exactly impossible, but damn.  What were the chances?</p><p>a.k.a. the one where Carmilla is Jessica Jones and Laura is Supergirl and they probably fall in love anyway because they're dorks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember how I got this idea. But I did. For better or for worse.
> 
> Title from the song "Powerful" by Major Lazer feat. Ellie Goulding.

Getting drunk and going home with a stranger for meaningless sex wasn’t necessarily a good idea, even under the best of circumstances.  Doing so when you have super-strength was downright dangerous.  Carmilla had sent a girl to the hospital two years ago and hadn’t had any drunken one-nighters since.

So when she woke up in an unfamiliar bed with a warm body beside her and a hangover of truly epic proportions, it was understandable that her initial reaction was panic.

Carmilla sat bolt upright in the bed, trying desperately to take stock of the situation despite her stomach turning.  It was morning.  There was sunlight streaming in through the windows of the cozy little studio apartment she now found herself in.  Her clothes from last night were spread across the floor between the bed and the door, and she was currently wearing her panties inside out and a Daily Planet t-shirt that had to belong to whoever’s bed this was.

She swallowed hard, turning to look at the girl beside her.  She was breathing, that was good.  Her face was hidden by a curtain of honey-colored hair and her body was tucked into a tight little ball under the covers.  Carmilla swallowed again.  Her mouth was dry and she could still taste booze at the back of her throat and her head was _pounding_ but she had to know if this girl was okay.

Her hand shook a bit as she reached out, laying a hesitant touch on the girl’s shoulder.  She shifted just a bit, letting out a long, slow breath, and Carmilla flinched back like she’d been burned.

“Hey,” Carmilla said, her voice hoarse.  She touched the girl’s shoulder again, giving her a gentle shake.  “Hey, are you okay?”

The girl just mumbled in her sleep and Carmilla started to panic. She could be hurt.  Carmilla was too strong, and when she was drunk she couldn’t control it.  There could be bruises or scratches or broken bones hiding beneath the sheets.  She clenched her jaw and grabbed the covers, yanking them away from the girl’s body and preparing for the worst.

But there was nothing.  No bruises.  No scratches.  Just an angry grunt at the sudden lack of covers.  The girl shivered, cold in her tank top and boy shorts, which appeared to be on backwards, and curled herself up even further.

“You’re okay,” Carmilla blurted, eyes still sweeping up and down the girl’s body without blinking.  It didn’t make sense.  She didn’t remember most of last night, but she remembered enough to know that she hadn’t exactly been gentle.

“You’re yelling,” the girl groaned, turning her head to bury her face in the pillow.

Carmilla blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what she was seeing.  Trying to remember details from the previous night.  The girl’s name?  Nope, nothing.  Started with an L, maybe.  Carmilla frowned.  The sex was coming back to her faster than anything else.

There should have been bite marks on this girl’s shoulders.  Scratches on her back.  Bruises on her hips.  Hickeys on her neck and the insides of her thighs.  But there was nothing.  Carmilla plucked at the girl’s tank top to peer underneath, just to make sure.  But all she saw was smooth skin dotted with freckles.

There was only one way this made sense.  And it wasn’t exactly impossible, but damn.  What were the chances?

“Oh shit,” the girl said suddenly, her whole body tensing.  Carmilla flinched away from her again as she sat up abruptly and turned to face her, and all of a sudden Carmilla had to remind herself to breathe.

No wonder she’d gotten her attention last night.  She was _gorgeous_.  More of the evening trickled back into her memory like ink in water.  Dark amber eyes watching her approach from across the bar.  A soft smile hidden behind the rim of the drink Carmilla bought her.

But she wasn’t smiling now.  No, now she was staring at Carmilla like she was a ghost.  Carmilla watched her eyes bounce restlessly up and down, checking her over, or so it seemed.  Just like Carmilla had been doing to her.

“You’re okay,” the girl said blankly, echoing Carmilla’s own words.  Carmilla’s eyes narrowed, regarding the girl suspiciously and trying to ignore the way her heart was pounding.  She was really just unfairly pretty, especially after the night they’d had.  Her mascara was smudged and her hair was disheveled but she still managed to look like some kind of angel.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Carmilla asked quietly, watching for the girl’s reaction.  She swallowed hard and her gaze dropped away, fingers twitching against the sheets.

“I can be kind of… rough,” the girl muttered, and Carmilla couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face as the girl blushed.  She _blushed_.  And it was fucking adorable.

But then her eyes were back on Carmilla, and one of her fidgeting hands suddenly reached for her, and Carmilla reacted purely on instinct.  She grabbed the girl’s wrist, stopping her touch from landing, and held fast.

They locked eyes and a silent struggle began, Carmilla holding and the girl trying to pull her arm out of Carmilla’s grip.  It wasn’t long before Carmilla’s arm was shaking from the effort, watching the girl’s eyes go from narrowed in confusion to wide in surprise.

Carmilla finally let go, releasing her with a noisy exhale and slowly flexing her fingers.  They stung from the effort of holding her.  She was strong.  Holy shit, she was _strong_.

“You’re strong,” the girl gasped, voicing Carmilla’s thoughts as she cradled her arm against her chest.  Carmilla stared at the wrist in question.  No redness.  No bruising.  By the end she’d been squeezing hard enough to bend steel.

“You’re stronger,” Carmilla laughed with an incredulous shake of her head.  Carmilla was five foot four and she could lift a minivan, but this girl?  At least an inch shorter and _stronger._

While Carmilla sat and stared at her own hand, the girl started talking.  And couldn’t seem to stop.

“I don’t… I mean… how is this… how are you…” she stammered, running a hand through her hair that drew Carmilla’s eyes like a magnet.  Wow she was pretty.  She was a pretty girl and she did pretty things and Carmilla was finding it hard to concentrate.  “I mean when I brought you home last night I had no idea that you were… and really what are the chances that we’d just… and how is it even possible?  All my people are dead.”

Carmilla was still staring at her hair, transfixed by the way the morning sunlight made it shine, but the word ‘dead’ got her attention.  Shit.  She hadn’t been listening.

“Except…” the girl trailed off.  Carmilla lifted an eyebrow in question and the girl’s eyes turned hard.  “Of course, you’re one of Non’s spies, aren’t you?”  Carmilla blinked at her, completely nonplussed, but she was already scrambling out of the bed and pacing angrily across the floor.  “It just figures, the one night I let my guard down.  The one time I let myself go out without worrying and I bring one of his flunkies right into my apartment…”

“Hey, hold on,” Carmilla began slowly, confused, but the girl just glared at her.

“I should have known,” she sighed angrily, shaking her head.  “Someone as pretty as you would never… god, I’m such a…”

“Whoa whoa, shut up for a second,” Carmilla snapped, sitting up on her knees and holding her hands up defensively.  The girl came to a stop and blinked at her, surprised.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.  I just saw you at the bar and thought you were cute.”

The girl blushed again, and Carmilla felt weak.  Shit.

“Oh,” the girl said quietly, plopping back onto the bed beside Carmilla.  “So… you’re not from Krypton?”

“I’m from Manhattan,” Carmilla replied blankly.  The small part of her brain that wasn’t still drunk and confused started working overtime.  “You mean Krypton like the planet?  Like where Super…”  The girl’s eyes went wide and Carmilla felt as if the floor was very slowly opening up beneath her.  “Hooooly shit.”  She ran a hand distractedly through her hair, wide eyes dropping to her knees as she tried desperately to digest this information.  “I had sex with Supergirl.”

Of course.  Of _course_.  It all made sense now.  No wonder she was stronger, she could bench press a freight train.  And she couldn’t exactly get bruises or scratches when she was freaking _invulnerable_.  Why hadn’t it occurred to her sooner?  Oh yeah, hangover.  Also who would’ve thought Supergirl was into girls?

“Laura.”

Carmilla glanced up, meeting her eyes.  The girl, Supergirl, _Laura_ , looked away quickly, eyes darting to the pair of glasses on her bedside.  That was what had been missing from Carmilla’s hazy mental image of the girl laughing at her awful pickup lines at the bar last night.  She seemed to debate putting the glasses on for a moment, reaching for them before dropping her hand.

“It’s just… Laura.”

“Laura,” Carmilla repeated softly, and Laura nodded.

“You’re um… Carmilla, right?” she asked quietly, and Carmilla nodded back.  “It’s starting to come back to me.  Sort of.”  Carmilla just kept staring at her, tilting her head a bit and watching the way the muscles in her arms flexed when she pushed her hair behind her ears.  “I’m sorry, this is weird.  I just… I’m not really a one night stand kind of girl, and I’ve definitely never met someone like… like us, who isn’t trying to kill me, so I don’t know what the protocol here is.”

“Slow down, cupcake,” Carmilla said quietly, and Laura’s eyes brightened at the nickname.  She had called her that last night.  “I’m pretty new to this too.”

“Can I touch you?” Laura blurted suddenly, and Carmilla had to blink a few times before she was sure she’d heard right.  Laura somehow managed to blush even more than she already was and buried her face in her hands with a groan.  “Oh god, I’m so sorry.  That… that was… it’s just that I always have to be so careful when I touch people, like even for a handshake or a hug or anything, and it’s exhausting.  But with you I don’t… have to think so hard.”

Carmilla wordlessly held out her hand and Laura’s mouth opened in surprise before she hesitantly took it.  Carmilla hummed a bit at the contact and Laura smiled.  Damn.  Even something as small as her smile left Carmilla breathless.

The restlessness seemed to melt away from Laura as she turned her attention to Carmilla’s hand in hers.  She squeezed it slowly, carefully, and Carmilla just squeezed back.  Laura laughed out loud at that, and Carmilla couldn’t stop her smile.  She laced their fingers together and heard Laura’s breath catch.

“How… how are you…” she began slowly, still staring at their fingers.  She shook her head a bit and met Carmilla’s eyes.  “I really didn’t hurt you.”

“No,” Carmilla confirmed quietly.

“But you’re human.”

Carmilla laughed, nodding and looking down at their hands.  Laura was mindlessly sliding her fingers over Carmilla’s palm, tracing the lines with her fingertips and brushing along the creases of her knuckles.  It tickled.

“As far as I know,” she sighed.  Laura met her eyes briefly, curious, and Carmilla shrugged.  “I was in an accident when I was younger.  Went into a coma.  When I woke up, I was… different.”

“An accident?” Laura asked softly.  Carmilla froze.

This was crazy.  This was way too much.  Shit, what was she even still _doing_ here?  In bed with Supergirl?  No, this was insane.  She had to get out.

“I should go,” Carmilla said abruptly, frowning and getting to her feet.  She tried not to look at Laura, she really did, but Laura held fast to her hand and she had no choice but to turn back and see the utterly crushed look on her face.

“Don’t go,” she blurted, eyes wide with panic.  She squeezed Carmilla’s hand, most likely involuntarily, but it didn’t hurt.  Supergirl squeezed her hand and it _didn’t hurt_.  “Please, I’m sorry, we don’t… we don’t have to talk about you.  We don’t have to talk about anything.”  Laura sat up on her knees on the edge of the bed, turning to more fully face Carmilla.  “Just please don’t go yet.”

“You could make me stay,” Carmilla replied darkly.  Laura looked completely bewildered by the remark, so Carmilla looked pointedly at their hands.  “You’re stronger than me.”

Laura dropped Carmilla’s hand as if it had burned her.

“Oh no, I didn’t… I wasn’t…” she stammered, shaking her head.  “I’m so sorry, I would never… I just… I like holding your hand.”

Carmilla clenched her fists at her sides slowly, feeling the knuckles crack before she released them.  She took a deep breath through her nose.

They weren’t all like Mother.  Laura wasn’t like Mother.  Just because she had the power to do something doesn’t mean she would.  She repeated it in her head a few times, eyes closed.

Mother is dead.  They aren’t all like Mother.

When she opened her eyes again, Laura was watching her.  The panic had left her expression but she was still nervous, fidgeting as she waited for Carmilla to decide.  The tense silence was interrupted, however, by Laura’s stomach growling.  For a moment she looked completely horrified, but then Carmilla started laughing.

“Breakfast?” Laura laughed lightly as she got to her feet.

“Sure,” Carmilla sighed, nodding.  And even though she felt it was against her better judgement, she took Laura’s hand in hers as they walked out of the bedroom.  Laura immediately laced their fingers together and hummed happily.

Jesus, she was the cutest person Carmilla had ever met.

They were mostly silent as Laura poured them two bowls of Chocoa Crunch and Carmilla started to get restless.  So as she leaned against the kitchen island across from Laura and started on her second helping of cereal, she cleared her throat quietly to bring Laura’s eyes up to hers.

“Sooo… what’s the heaviest thing you ever lifted?” Carmilla asked conversationally.

A smile the likes of which Carmilla had never seen lit up Laura’s face.

“Oh man, um… an ambulance?” she began, scrunching her nose up as she thought.  “No no, well, there was this collapsing building.  I kind of held up the fourth through seventh floors for a couple minutes.”  Laura glanced up and caught Carmilla smiling at her fondly, and she started blushing again as she looked away.  “I don’t know, I guess.  Lots of stuff.  How about you?”

Carmilla thought for a minute, aware of Laura staring at her and drawing out the suspense just to watch her squirm a bit.

“A bus, but only for a few seconds,” Carmilla said with a shrug, and Laura grinned.

“So what else can you do?” she asked in a rush, leaning toward Carmilla on her elbows.  “I mean… if you don’t mind me asking.”

Carmilla could see her physically trying to rein in her excitement, and it was like watching a flower blooming in reverse.  She shrunk in on herself, made herself small, and Carmilla realized this was what she probably did every day.  Being Laura instead of being Supergirl.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” Carmilla heard herself saying.  Laura’s eyes snapped up to hers, a cautious edge to her surprise.  “With me.  You don’t…”  Carmilla sighed and glanced away, running a hand through her hair to stop herself from twitching.  She’d never met anyone who could get her so flustered without even doing anything.  “I’ve seen you naked.  You don’t have to hide from me.”

“Sorry,” Laura laughed, high and nervous and blushing again.  “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable or… make you want to leave, or anything.”  Carmilla looked away.  Shit.  She should have left when she meant to earlier.  Now she was starting to _feel_ things.  “I mean, everyone knows what my powers are, right?  Same as my cousin.  I was just curious.  About you.”

“Guess,” Carmilla said, surprising even herself with a smirk.  Laura smiled again, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, um…” she began slowly, twirling her spoon idly between her fingers.  “I know you’re strong.  Are you… invulnerable?  Or do you just heal really fast?”

“A bit of both,” Carmilla shrugged.  “I can get hurt, it just takes a lot of effort.  And when I do I bounce back pretty quick.  So even if you had left any bruises on me last night, they healed by the time I woke up.”

That blush again.  Fuck.

“Are you… fast?” Laura tried.

“Not if you don’t want me to be,” Carmilla winked.  Laura choked on the spoonful of cereal in her mouth and Carmilla burst out laughing.  “Sorry, sorry, no.  Regular speed.  There’s just one more thing.”

Laura took a few moments to compose herself, licking her lips in a way that was obviously not meant to be as sexy as it was.  Carmilla blinked, completely unable to stop herself from staring.

“Okay, one more thing,” Laura sighed, tapping her fingers on the counter.  “Can you fly?”

Carmilla smirked.  Laura’s whole face lit up again.

“Oh my gosh, you can fly?” she practically squealed, bouncing on the balls of her feet.  “I’ve always wanted someone to fly with!”

“Slow down,” Carmilla laughed, shaking her head.  “I can only kind of fly.  It’s more like… jumping really high.  And then falling.  And then not dying when I smack into the ground.”

“That’s just how I started!  Jumping!” Laura emphasized her point by bouncing in place a few more times.  “You never know, if you do it long enough you might just end up actually flying.”

Carmilla shrugged.  Normally this was a kind of sore subject for her, but with Laura, she couldn’t really find it in herself to care.

“Maybe,” she hummed.  “I might give it another shot someday.”

“What was it like?  The first time you flew?” Laura asked, her voice hushed with anticipation as she leaned in again.

“Slightly less exciting than punching someone in the face for the first time,” Carmilla hedged, watching Laura roll her eyes again with no small amount of satisfaction.  “Slightly more exciting than my first kiss.”

Laura wrinkled her nose and scoffed.  Carmilla’s eyebrows shot up.

“There is a story there,” she said, grinning, and Laura just huffed a bit and grabbed both of their empty cereal bowls from the counter.

“Well what do you mean by first kiss?” she said airily.  “Like… that first peck on the lips with Bobby Bernstein when I was thirteen?  Or the first time I made out with Linda Lee behind the art building at my high school?  Or you…?”  She caught herself and trailed off, turning to put the dishes in the sink.

“Me?” Carmilla prompted curiously.  Laura shrugged, her back turned to Carmilla.

“It’s like I said earlier about holding your hand,” she muttered as she distractedly rinsed the bowls.  “I have to concentrate so hard on not hurting people all the time… I’ve kissed people before, but I never really got to just… feel it, be in the moment, you know?  Not until you.”

Carmilla didn’t remember getting to her feet, but she suddenly found herself right behind Laura, clenching her hands into fists at her sides to stop herself from just reaching out and grabbing her.  Her fingers itched, physically itched, to touch her.  Laura turned to speak to her and jumped when she saw how close she was.

“You should know, it’s very hard to sneak up on me,” Laura whispered, and they were so close Carmilla could feel the words on her skin.

“I must be special,” she said just as quietly, her voice already much lower and rougher than it had been a moment ago.  She couldn't help it.  Because she was going to kiss Laura.  Properly.  And Laura seemed to realize that as Carmilla leaned in, because she met her halfway.

It started slow.  Innocent, even.  Like a first kiss out of a romantic comedy.  Soft.  Laura’s fingers tangled in her hair and Carmilla’s hands settled warmly on her hips.  Laura sighed into it, and Carmilla smiled against her mouth because she could feel her relaxing under her touch, feel her letting herself go.  Laura stepped back a bit to lean against the counter and Carmilla moved with her, entirely unwilling to go even half a second without her lips on Laura’s.  This was bliss, a word Carmilla had literally never used in her entire life.  But that’s what this was.

But then Laura made a sound.  A content little hum in the back of her throat that dropped low at the end, tapering off almost into a moan.  And suddenly the slow pace was agonizing.  The stillness stifling.  Carmilla pulled back for a breath, eyes opening to see Laura blinking at her in confusion.  There was a haze over her eyes, a sleepy sort of pleasure, but there was something under it.  Something smoldering.  Carmilla licked her lips and Laura’s eyes were drawn to the action, pupils widening as Carmilla’s hands drifted slowly up her sides.

Yeah.  They had sex again.

Really good sex.  Sex that cracked the granite countertop where Laura squeezed the edge too hard after Carmilla had lifted her up onto it, and dented the drywall where Laura pinned Carmilla on the way back to the bedroom, and yeah, they managed to break the bed this time.

“I feel like we’re starting a pattern here,” Carmilla sighed, turning her head to look at Laura.  They were both out of breath, lying naked on top of the sheets because it was too hot underneath them.  Laura was clearly exhausted, fighting to keep her eyes open, and Carmilla gained no small amount of pride from the fact that she just wore out Supergirl.

Laura rolled onto her side to face Carmilla, forehead coming to rest on Carmilla’s shoulder.  Carmilla was getting the feeling that Laura was usually a cuddler, but she didn’t want to overstep so she was holding herself back.  So Carmilla snuck an arm beneath her neck and let her fingers drift slowly up and down Laura’s back.  Laura hummed a bit, taking the action as an invitation to drape an arm over Carmilla’s waist and tug her a bit closer.

“It’s not the worst pattern,” Laura murmured.  “In fact it’s probably the best pattern I’ve ever had.”

Carmilla laughed quietly, feeling Laura’s smile against her arm.

“I’m just… I’m not a relationship person,” Carmilla said slowly after a long, comfortable silence.  She felt Laura tense, just a little, and immediately wanted to kick herself.  “I’m shit at relationships, to be perfectly honest.  And you don’t really strike me as a friends-with-benefits type of girl…”

“Well you’re kind of the only person I can have sex with,” Laura replied through a yawn.  “So I am more than willing to try to be a friends-with-benefits type of girl.”

“I don’t know if post-coital cuddling and naps are typically part of this sort of arrangement,” Carmilla teased, closing her eyes comfortably.

“Does anything else about me strike you as ‘typical’?” Laura teased right back, and Carmilla grinned.

This was probably a terrible idea.  But she was damn comfortable, so yeah, she fell asleep with Laura in her broken bed, naked and sore and disheveled and satisfied and weirdly content about the whole thing.

Whatever.  Since when did she care if something was a bad idea?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Part 2! I'm out of town for the next week so I wanted to leave you guys with a going away gift. Thanks so much for all the comments and kudos on the first chapter, I'm glad you guys liked it. Hope you continue liking it. Probably one more part after this.

As it turned out, Laura took the ‘friends’ part of ‘friends-with-benefits’ very seriously.  Upon reflection, Carmilla really wasn’t surprised.

It was less than two days after their first hookup that Carmilla got a text from Laura, inviting her over that evening for mac and cheese and crappy TV.  And Carmilla was too charmed by the innocence of the request to turn her down.  It just couldn’t be too innocent, so she brought a bottle of wine.

Carmilla learned fast that Laura was a talker.  She talked when she was nervous and she talked to fill the silence and she talked when she was comfortable and she talked over the TV and she just talked.  On anyone else, it would have driven Carmilla insane.  But Laura was different, for some reason.  Carmilla just sat and listened and watched the way her mouth curved and her eyes sparkled and her hands moved with a fond smile.

Laura told her about Midvale.  About her family, the Hollises.  Her foster parents and her sister Betty and her lead-lined glasses and the unusual Kryptonian accent she had when she first learned English.

Carmilla asked her to say something in Kryptonian.  She told Carmilla she was beautiful.

They had sex on the couch.

Carmilla mentioned briefly that they had more in common than she’d thought, what with being taken in by another family when hers was killed.  She didn’t say anything more than that, because if she did, she would have to tell Laura about Mother.

She didn’t know if she would ever be ready to tell her about Mother.

Laura didn’t push her.  They just finished the wine and had sex again.

That became their ritual.  Every few days, Carmilla would bring booze to Laura’s and they would order food and watch awful TV and sleep together.  Or they would go out for fast food and return to Carmilla’s place and watch Netflix on her laptop and drink whiskey and sleep together.

But they weren’t dating.  Definitely not.  And Carmilla definitely didn’t have any feelings.  That would be stupid.

Still, having regular sex with Supergirl was keeping her in great shape.  And maybe it was nice to have someone to talk to about being able to punch through a brick wall.  And maybe she didn’t mind learning more about Laura, like how her name was actually Lora Zor-El and she didn’t have any siblings but her parents had been thinking about it right up until Krypton was destroyed.  And maybe she didn’t mind telling Laura more about herself, about her real parents and her little brother Will and how much she still missed them.  Laura could relate to that.  And maybe they got really drunk and just cried together for a while instead of having sex one night.

And maybe…  Carmilla sighed and shook her head as she walked down the street toward her apartment one morning several months after she met Laura.  Maybe she was starting to have feelings for Laura.  Maybe she had always had feelings for Laura.

Well shit.

Any further brooding was interrupted, however, by a loud crash somewhere in the city.  That usually meant one thing.

Supergirl was in a fight.

And Carmilla couldn’t help the way her heart clenched with fear at the thought.  Because Supergirl wasn’t just Supergirl anymore.  Supergirl was Laura.  Laura who scrunched her nose up when she thought too hard about something.  Laura who hummed to herself when she folded laundry.  Laura who laughed during sex when Carmilla accidentally tickled her.

Carmilla looked around the street, eyes landing on a crowd of people around the electronics shop on the corner.  She jogged over and pushed her way through, ignoring the pounding of her heart as best as she could while the breaking news report played on the televisions in the window.

She was fighting a man.  He looked like a regular middle-aged white guy in a suit, but it was clear that he wasn’t human from the shaky cell phone footage of him taking a hit so hard it turned his head around and then walking it off like it was nothing.  A cyborg or android or something, according to the reporter.  But Carmilla wasn’t really looking at him.  She was looking at Supergirl, and she was getting more and more panicked by the second.

Supergirl wasn’t moving as fast as she should have been.  She looked like she was in pain.  Something was very wrong.

And then the crowd around Carmilla was scattering, screaming, as a chunk of the skyscraper across the street came hurtling down toward them.  Supergirl had just been knocked right out of the sky, clipping the building and crashing at the end of the street.

Carmilla was running toward the crater before she even thought to move.

She had the presence of mind to grab an abandoned motorcycle helmet to cover her face on the way, knowing full well the news helicopters would be circling any second now.  She jammed the helmet on her head just as she reached the edge of the crater, greeted by the sight of Supergirl struggling to her feet as the android advanced on her.

“Hey Threepio,” Carmilla shouted, and everything became clear when the man turned toward her.

He was definitely a robot, because there was a metal hatch on his chest that was wide open to reveal his power source: a fist-sized chunk of Kryptonite.  Carmilla’s blood boiled.

“Why don’t you fuck off,” she finished as she jumped down into the crater, using her momentum to punch him in the head so hard he crumpled to the ground.

“Another one?” he groaned, his voice weirdly human, and his joints clanked and hissed as he got back to his feet.  Carmilla got a bit of joy from the fact that she’d left a fist-shaped dent in his metal skull.  “No matter.  Plenty of me to go around.”

“Sorry Tin Man, that shit doesn’t work on me,” Carmilla growled, and she ripped the rock out of his chest without a second thought.  His eyes went blank and he dropped back to the ground at Carmilla’s feet, where she promptly crushed the Kryptonite under her heel.

Supergirl was still trying to get to her feet, clearly struggling just to keep conscious, and Carmilla was at her side in seconds.

“Hey hey, slow down, it’s me,” she said quietly, and Laura’s eyes snapped to the visor of the helmet.  “You’re okay, cupcake, it’s me.”

“Carm,” Laura whispered, eyes filling with tears, and Carmilla just nodded, holding her carefully by her elbows to keep her from falling.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll get you somewhere safe,” Carmilla continued, all too aware of the sound of approaching helicopters.  And Laura just took a shallow breath and nodded once before she passed out.  Her dead weight dropped into Carmilla’s arms and she staggered backwards.  “Oh man… you’re heavier than you look…”

The sound of sirens was getting louder and louder.  Carmilla hefted Supergirl into her arms and remembered what Laura had told her.

She had started out jumping.  Now she could fly.

Carmilla jumped.

* * *

 

It had been almost three hours, and Carmilla wasn’t sure how much more sunlight she could take.

She was on the roof of her apartment building, boiling in the sun even though it was autumn and she was wearing a tank top and jeans.  She remembered Laura telling her once that her powers came from sunlight, that the Earth’s yellow sun made her strong.  So as soon as Carmilla had gotten her back to her apartment, she’d stripped her out of her Supergirl suit and dressed her in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt she’d left over at Carmilla’s a week ago and carried her up to the roof.

It wasn’t exactly ideal, just two folding lounge chairs next to a heating duct, but it seemed to be working.  The color was returning to Laura’s face, which had been frighteningly pale after prolonged exposure to that much Kryptonite.  And she started murmuring in her sleep instead of the coma-like state of unconsciousness she’d been in the first hour.  She often spoke in her sleep, Carmilla had learned.  Little snippets of Kryptonian whispered against the back of Carmilla’s neck in the middle of the night.  So it was a good sign.

But it had been three hours.  Carmilla wasn’t used to this kind of prolonged panic on behalf of another person.  She was just starting to wonder what her next step should be when Laura coughed.

“Laura,” Carmilla blurted, up and at her side before she even realized she’d moved.  She perched herself carefully on the lounge chair next to Laura’s hip, hands going to her cheeks reflexively and thumbs brushing over Laura’s cheekbones.  “Hey, Laura, hey,” she whispered as Laura’s eyes fluttered open and she tensed, confused.  But then Laura’s gaze focused on her and she relaxed instantly.  Carmilla smiled.  “There you are.”

“What happened?” Laura asked, her voice raspy with sleep.  Carmilla bent and grabbed the bottle of water she’d brought with them, tilting it carefully and helping Laura drink.

“You were getting your ass kicked by a robot, and I was in the area,” Carmilla shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips, and Laura let out a weak laugh.  “We’re on the roof of my apartment building.  I figured the sunlight would help.”

“You remembered,” Laura said with a grin, and Carmilla felt herself blushing.  Dammit.  “What happened to Metallo?”

“Metallo?” Carmilla repeated blankly.  “Oh, the robot guy.  Um, I left a dent in his head and crushed his heart and… left his robot corpse in the crater in the street, I guess.”  She winced a bit and Laura let out another quiet laugh.  “Oh well.  I was too busy carting your unconscious ass out of there to worry about him.”

“Sorry,” Laura murmured distantly, and Carmilla shook her head.

“Don’t, I was kidding,” she whispered, and Laura nodded, closing her eyes and letting out a long sigh.  Carmilla brushed her hair behind her ear and Laura leaned into her touch automatically.  “Are you okay?  How do you feel?”

“A little loopy,” Laura said slowly, shrugging.  She reached up and took both of Carmilla’s hands in hers, drawing them back to her cheeks and holding them there.  “I think I got hit in the head a few times.”

“Do you need anything?  I can-”

Carmilla moved to get up, but Laura held her in place by her hands, staring up at her.

“Stay,” she said simply.  She scooted to the side and tilted her head toward the now-open space on the chair.  “Stay with me.”

Carmilla just nodded and settled in without a second thought, wrapping Laura in her arms and trying to calm her racing heartbeat when Laura cuddled up against her.  Laura tended to be the big spoon when they slept together, but Carmilla didn’t mind taking turns.

“You saved my life,” Laura said quietly, lips brushing against Carmilla’s neck.

“It’s not a big deal,” Carmilla sighed, running a hand slowly through Laura’s hair.

“It is,” Laura whispered.  “You saved me.  Thank you, Carm.”

Carmilla swallowed hard, hand stilling for a moment.  She closed her eyes.

“You’re worth saving.”

Laura hummed at that, burying her face in Carmilla’s neck in an attempt to hide her grin.

“I want to tell you something,” Laura said, voice muffled against Carmilla’s skin.

“Okay, go ahead.”

Laura shook her head, nuzzling her face further into Carmilla’s neck.

“You don’t want to hear it,” she mumbled, and she sounded just a little sad underneath the oddly childish tinge the concussion had given to her voice.

“Try me,” Carmilla whispered, pinching Laura’s hip lightly until she laughed.  There was a long pause as Laura inhaled slowly and let the breath out on a sigh.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Carmilla froze.

There was a solid fifteen seconds of complete panic before she managed to respond.

“Maybe… I don’t mind hearing it.  From you.”

No response.  Carmilla could feel herself sweating.  Gross.

“Laura?” she whispered, finally looking down at the girl tucked tight against her chest.

She was fast asleep, her cheeks finally back to their proper pink color and her breath coming slow and soft through parted lips.

Carmilla finally let out the breath she’d been holding.  Panic later.  Sleep now.

* * *

 

Carmilla was awoken by the sound of the roof access door banging open.  She moved on pure instinct, rolling over Laura and landing on her feet between the chair and the door.  She was faced with a tall, skinny blond in what appeared to be full black ops gear pointing a gun at her face.

“Step away from her,” the woman barked, her voice authoritative and calm.

“Not a chance,” Carmilla replied instantly.  “You want her, you have to go through me.”

“If you insist,” the woman said with a shrug, and Carmilla was tensing to jump at her when she felt a hand on her hip.

“Stop,” Laura blurted, sitting up in the chair slowly and raising a hand toward the blond.  “Stop, both of you.  You’re on the same team.”

Laura started to stand, and Carmilla immediately forgot about the gun pointed at her face, turning toward Laura and catching her hands.

“Hey, slow down,” she said softly, and Laura met her eyes with a fond smile.  “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, Carm,” Laura replied, echoing Carmilla’s soft tone right back at her.  “I can stand up on my own, I promise.”

Carmilla held onto one of her hands regardless, finally turning back toward the chick with the gun only to find it had been lowered.  The woman was staring at her curiously, and if Carmilla didn’t know any better, she’d say there was the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at one side of her mouth.

Laura stepped between the two of them, Carmilla still lightly holding her hand.

“Carmilla, this is my sister, Betty,” Laura said, gesturing toward the blond.  Ooooh.  Betty.  Right, Laura had talked about her.  Elizabeth Hollis, called Betty exclusively by her parents and Laura.  Laura had mentioned that they worked together, but she’d never really gone into detail about much past their childhood.  “Betty, this is Carmilla.”

Betty holstered her gun and gave Laura a look.  It was clearly a sister look, and there seemed to be a split second of silent communication before Betty smirked and offered Carmilla her hand for a shake, which Carmilla took.

“Nice to meet you, Carmilla,” Betty said, and she actually sounded like she meant it.  Carmilla glanced at Laura, who was blushing, and lifted an eyebrow in confusion.  “I notice you don’t have any bruises on your hand.  Pretty impressive, since the shape of your fist is imprinted on the metal skull of a highly advanced robot.”

“Er…”

“Which is none of the DEO’s business, because Carmilla is human,” Laura jumped in, grabbing Betty’s arm in such a little-sisterly way that Carmilla almost laughed.  “Soooo no harm no foul, right?”

“I don’t know if that’s how that expression works, but I’ll let it slide because I’m glad you’re okay,” Betty sighed, pulling Laura in for a quick hug that she appeared to be delighted by.  Betty’s gaze fell back to Carmilla.  “Thanks for helping her.  I owe you one.”

“She would have done the same for me,” Carmilla shrugged, and Laura rolled her eyes at her.

“We need to get you back to the DEO,” Betty said, suddenly all business.  She looked Laura up and down.  “I already got your suit from what I assume is Carmilla’s apartment.”

“What the hell?” Carmilla asked blankly.  “You broke into my place?”

“Of course not,” Betty said dismissively, turning Laura toward the door.  “I picked the lock.  Nothing broken.”

“That’s not what I-”

“Betty, I’ll meet you downstairs,” Laura cut in loudly.  Betty stared at her, eyes narrowing, and Laura just stared back.  “Please?  Just give us a minute.”

“Fine,” Betty sighed.  Laura had mentioned she was excellent at using puppy eyes on her sister.  “It was nice to meet you, Carmilla.”

And with that, Betty was through the door and down the stairs.  Laura turned to Carmilla with a sheepish smile.

“Well look at me, meeting the family,” Carmilla said, a slow grin spreading across her face.  “What’s next?  Are we gonna go steady?”

“I still don’t get what that phrase means,” Laura grumbled, stepping forward into Carmilla’s space and running her fingers along the straps of her tank top.  Carmilla’s hands settled on Laura’s waist with practiced ease.  “English is a really weird language, you know.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling better?” Carmilla said quietly, and Laura had clearly been expecting more banter because she looked up into Carmilla’s eyes with such open and honest adoration that Carmilla felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.

“I’m sure,” Laura whispered, and Carmilla couldn’t help but notice her gaze lingering on her mouth.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for what you did today.”

“You already thanked me, sunshine.”

“Not enough,” Laura shook her head.  The next thing Carmilla knew, Laura was kissing her.  It wasn’t quite like the kisses they usually shared, hot and heavy and inevitably leading to sex.  It was soft.  Warm.  Almost careful.  When they eventually pulled away, Carmilla was breathless again.  “Is it okay if I come back later?”

“Of course,” Carmilla replied numbly.  When Laura stepped away from her, all she noticed was how cold it was when Laura wasn’t pressed up against her.

“I’ll explain everything when I get back, I promise,” Laura said through her grin.  “See you later.”

And she was gone.  And Carmilla was standing by herself on the roof of her apartment building.

And she was totally in love with Laura Hollis.

Shit.

* * *

 

The sun was setting by the time Laura came back, and she came back in a rather unorthodox fashion.  Carmilla got a knock on her window rather than a knock on her door, only to find Supergirl standing on her fire escape.

“Are you crazy?” Carmilla laughed, opening the window and dragging her inside.  “You want someone to see you?”

“Sorry,” Laura panted, cheeks rosy from her high speed flight over.  “I just really wanted to see you.”

And then Laura was in her arms again, warm and real and kissing her like her life depended on it.  She already had Carmilla’s belt off before Carmilla grabbed her hands to stop her.

“Whoa whoa,” Carmilla gasped, lacing their fingers together idly.  “Slow down.”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry,” Laura blurted, horrified, and she tried to back away but Carmilla held onto her hands.  “Did I hurt you?  I didn’t… I’m so sorry…”

“You didn’t hurt me, nerd,” Carmilla laughed, tugging her back in close.  Laura smiled a bit and Carmilla slid her hands slowly up her arms, fingers tracing a light path up to her cheeks.  “I just… we don’t have to have sex right now.”

“Oh,” Laura responded blankly, clearly distracted by Carmilla’s thumbs softly stroking her cheekbones.  “Wait, is this because you think I’m still hurt?  I’m fine, Carm, I swear.  They had me under the solar lights at the DEO for a while and I feel great.”

“It’s not that,” Carmilla sighed.  She stepped back and climbed onto her bed, sitting up against the headboard and patting the space beside her.  Laura laughed and followed, tucking herself into Carmilla’s side comfortably.  “I just um… it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Laura murmured, resting her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.  “Tell me.”

“You scared me today,” Carmilla said after a long silence.  She felt Laura tense, but she didn’t say anything.  “I have it in my head that you’re invincible, but you’re not, and I just… I hated seeing you like that.”

Laura didn’t respond.  Carmilla couldn’t blame her.  She wouldn’t know what to say either.

“So I guess I just want to sit with you for now,” Carmilla continued quietly.  “I just like… feeling you next to me.”

“Carmilla Karnstein, you’re such a softy,” Laura teased, but she was smiling radiantly and cuddling further into Carmilla’s side, so Carmilla didn’t mind the jab.

It wasn’t until Laura started murmuring in her sleep again that Carmilla noticed she was still in her Supergirl suit.

Maybe it was time for her to stop thinking of Laura and Supergirl as separate people anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooo here is this finally. I am amped as hell for season 3 of Carmilla, and it finally gave me enough motivation to finish this ridiculous au. Thanks for all the nice comments and kudos and likes and reblogs. You guys are the illest.

Carmilla was having a bad week _before_ she got shot.  After she got shot?  Well it wasn’t the worst week she’d ever had, but it ranked pretty high up there.

Carmilla took another long drink from the bottle of crappy whiskey in her hand as she boarded the elevator up to her apartment.  She’d dug the bullet out of her shoulder already, but it still hurt like a bitch.  Plus there was a hole in her favorite jacket now and it would take her ages to clean the blood out of her shirt.  And also she missed Laura.

She sighed and let the back of her head thud against the elevator wall.  There it was.  The real reason she’d been having a shitty week.  Carmilla had been actively avoiding Laura, and it was turning out to be much harder than she’d thought.

The day after the incident with Metallo, Laura texted asking her to come over.  She ignored it.  Laura must have assumed she was just busy, because she didn’t get another text until the next day.  Ignored again.  Laura waited two days to text again, asking Carmilla if everything was okay.  After another day of silence, Laura called her.  Left her a voicemail asking if she was alright.  She called three more times over the course of the next day, didn’t leave any more voicemails.  But Carmilla realized she would keep calling, so she sent a single text back, saying she was fine, just busy.

It had taken several hours for Laura to respond.  She texted back that she was glad she was okay and to let her know when her schedule opened up.

Carmilla never texted her back.

It had been sixteen days since she’d seen Laura.  Not that she was counting.

It was stupid, really.  They’d only known each other for a few months, but Laura had somehow managed to become such a huge part of Carmilla’s life that removing her had left a hole.  Much like the bullet hole in her shoulder.

But it was for the best.  Carmilla was getting too attached to her, and this proved it.  It was supposed to be a no-strings-attached sort of arrangement, and even though Laura didn’t remember saying it due to being recently beat up by a robot, she had told Carmilla she was falling in love with her.  What had happened after, the cuddling and the soft words and the worry, that was a momentary lapse.  

Love wasn’t in the cards for Carmilla Karnstein.

After what felt like forever, the elevator doors finally opened on Carmilla’s floor.  She noticed immediately that something wasn’t quite right, and as she got closer to her apartment she saw what it was.  Her door was ajar.  Someone was inside.

“Seriously?” she sighed, stomping down the hall and slamming her door open.  “J.P. I swear to god if you got high and busted in here again…”

But it wasn’t J.P.  Or a burglar.  Or a client.

It was Laura.

“Oh,” Carmilla said blankly, eyes wide.  “Hey.”

Laura had clearly been sitting in the chair in front of Carmilla’s desk, but jumped to her feet when Carmilla kicked the door open.  She adjusted her glasses nervously and Carmilla’s heart panged.  She’d missed her.  All of two weeks and she’d missed her.  And now here she was with her ponytail and her pleated skirt and her cardigan and Carmilla wanted to touch her so badly her fingers twitched, so she just squeezed her bottle harder.

“Hey,” Laura replied quietly.  “Sorry.  I just um… your door is broken.  I knocked and it just kind of opened.”

“Oh, right,” Carmilla muttered, glancing back at the door.  She’d have to get that fixed one of these days.

“Sorry to just show up like this,” Laura said in a rush, taking a step toward Carmilla that she apparently hadn’t planned because she froze in place immediately.  “I just um… I just…”  She trailed off and Carmilla looked up at her curiously.  She was staring at Carmilla’s shoulder.  “You’re bleeding.”

Carmilla looked down, remembering that she was, in fact, bleeding, when she saw the red stain on her shirt creeping out from under her jacket.

“Ah, yeah,” she shrugged a bit and looked back up at Laura, who looked horrified.  “It’s fine.”

“Carm,” Laura protested, and suddenly whatever nerves Laura had been feeling appeared to evaporate.  She stepped right into Carmilla’s space, grabbing the bottle out of her hand and tugging her jacket off in a couple swift movements.  Carmilla just blinked at her, more surprised by the startled hitch in Laura’s breath than the dull pain in her own shoulder.  “Oh my god, Carm, did you get shot?”

“Just a little,” Carmilla murmured.  Laura’s eyes shot back up to hers and she pinned her with a glare.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Laura said brusquely, and only then did Carmilla find the sense to reach up and grab Laura’s wrists to stop her from scooping her up.

“No,” she blurted, and Laura must have heard the panic in her voice because she stopped without question.  “No, no hospitals.  They’ll just… they’ll ask questions, and I’ll already be healing by then and then they’ll ask more questions, and…”  She shook her head firmly.  “No hospitals.”

Laura appeared to grind her teeth for a second before she let out a frustrated breath and looked down.

“Okay, fine,” she sighed.  “But you’re going to let me clean this up for you instead.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Let me or I’m calling an ambulance.”

Carmilla tried to stare Laura down, but she wasn’t budging.  So Carmilla just sighed and stomped over to her desk chair.

“Fine,” she grumbled as she flopped into her seat.

Laura was gone and back in the time it took Carmilla to blink, sending the loose papers on the desk scattering in the air currents she created.  The super speed had surprised Carmilla the first few times, but it was something she’d gotten used to.

Laura had been around enough for Carmilla to get used to things.  She never let anyone stay around that long, what had she been thinking?

But Laura was all business, first aid kit in hand and a look of concentration on her face that was genuinely adorable.  Carmilla fought down a smile as Laura dragged the other chair up next to Carmilla’s and perched herself on it, placing herself carefully perpendicular to Carmilla’s injured side and scooting in close.

“Shirt off,” Laura said simply, propping the first aid kit open on the desk and rifling through it quickly.  Carmilla almost choked on her tongue.  Laura glanced at her.  “I’ve seen you naked.  A lot.  Now take your shirt off.”

She tried to.  She really did.  But lifting her arms over her head sent a spike of pain through her shoulder that had her cursing loudly, so Laura helped.  Laura pulled the shirt off of her with a touch so soft and careful it was barely there.  And as soon as the shirt was off, leaving Carmilla sitting in her desk chair in her ripped jeans and worn out boots and black bra, she felt herself flush.  She was sure it was visible on her chest and face, but Laura graciously ignored it.

“How did you get the bullet out?” Laura asked quietly as she carefully wiped the excess blood away from Carmilla’s shoulder.

“With my finger,” Carmilla grunted, holding up her bloody pinky finger for a moment as she reached for the bottle of whiskey Laura had left on the desk.  “Scared the hell out of the bitch that shot me, so you know, worth it.”

Laura’s hand suddenly twitched on her shoulder and she stopped, leaning back and taking a deep breath through her nose.  Carmilla watched her curiously as she reined herself in, clenching her hands into fists until her knuckles cracked.  She shook her hands out a bit at her sides.

She was angry, Carmilla realized.  The mention of someone shooting Carmilla had made her so mad she had to stop and collect herself.

She’d never seen Laura angry before.

“Who um… I mean why…” Laura began slowly, digging through the first aid kit for the rubbing alcohol.  She took another slow breath.  “What happened?”

Carmilla shrugged, taking a long drink of her whiskey to cover her wince when Laura started in on her shoulder.

“I don’t have a secret identity, you know?” Carmilla sighed.  “In my line of work, word tends to get out if you occasionally lift cars and punch through walls.  So when Spiderman trashes the green line in a fight with Rhino, or The Flash knocks Gorilla Grodd into the power lines and all of Central City goes dark, the people who are inconvenienced by these events want someone to take it out on.”  Carmilla grunted at a particularly harsh sting and Laura froze, but Carmilla just shook her head and signaled for her to continue.  “These idiots seem to think we’re all in a club or something, you know?  That a d-list super-powered nobody like me hangs out with…”

“Supergirl?” Laura suggested slyly, and Carmilla couldn’t fight off the smile on her face if she tried.  “You’re not nobody, Carm.  And you’re telling me the person that shot you did it because they were mad about something some other superheroes did?”

“Yep,” Carmilla shrugged again.  “The Hulk broke a window on her penthouse or something, I wasn’t really listening.”  She took another drink.  “People suck.”

“I’m sorry,” Laura murmured, avoiding Carmilla’s eyes as she smoothed a bandage over her shoulder.

“Not your fault,” Carmilla muttered right back, watching Laura as she closed the first aid kit and didn’t move away.  Instead she leaned in, placing a feather-light kiss over the bandage.  Carmilla’s breath caught in her chest and still Laura lingered, hands resting tentatively on Carmilla’s forearms as she leaned in enough to take a slow breath of the scent of Carmilla’s hair.  “Laura…”

The word left her without her permission, whispered reverently.  Laura leaned in further, resting her forehead against Carmilla’s temple.

“Did I do something wrong?” Laura asked in a small voice, and Carmilla’s heart broke.  “Did I hurt you?  Is that why you’re avoiding me?”

“No, Laura, no,” Carmilla stammered.  “You didn’t… you’ve never hurt me.”

“Then why?”

Carmilla swallowed hard and pushed her chair back, away from Laura.  Away from her soft hands and her hot chocolate smell and her plaintive whispers.  She got to her feet and turned her back to her, taking a few long moments to search for her bloody shirt.

“It’s not a big deal,” Carmilla said, voice a bit muffled as she pulled the shirt back over her head.  “I’ve just been busy.”  She picked her jacket up off the floor and inspected the hole in the shoulder with a frown.  “It’s not… personal.”

“What are you doing?” Laura asked quietly, and Carmilla finally looked back at her.  She was sitting rigidly in her chair, hands balled into fists on her knees.  Her eyes were closed behind her glasses and Carmilla had to take a deep breath.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she replied slowly.  She pulled her jacket back on and drained the last of the whiskey.  “It’s not like we were dating.”

“Why are you doing this?” Laura snapped, jumping to her feet.  There was that anger again.  “I know you better than this, Carmilla.  I know what you’re doing and it’s bullshit.”

Carmilla arched an eyebrow.  Laura didn’t swear very often.  In fact, Carmilla had only heard her swear once before, and it was when she first woke up and realized Carmilla was in her bed.

“Cupcake,” Carmilla began with a roll of her eyes, but Laura just shot her another glare and she fell silent.

“Look, I was having fun with you,” Laura sighed angrily, and as she tended to do when she was agitated, she started to pace.  “I’m not going to apologize for enjoying having sex with you and spending time with you.  I never asked for anything else, but all of a sudden you’re just gone and it sucks.”  She stopped in front of Carmilla, who just barely managed not to step back.  She pointed an accusatory finger at Carmilla’s chest.  “If you don’t want to be with me, just say so.  Just tell me.  Don’t freeze me out and make me think it was my fault.”

Carmilla panicked.

Nobody had ever known her like this.  She had never let anyone this close, how could she have been so stupid?  ‘If you don’t want to be with me,’ Laura had said.  _Of course_ she wanted to be with her.  That was the problem.

So she did the only thing she could think of.  She grabbed Laura by the face and pulled her into a searing kiss.

God, she had _missed_ her.  She didn’t know it was possible to miss someone so physically.  But the feel of her skin and the taste of her lips and the smell of her hair had her instantly drunk.

Laura must have missed her too, because for a few moments she let it happen.  She fell into Carmilla and let her have her way, parted her lips under a desperate tongue and sighed into Carmilla’s mouth.  But only for a few moments.  Before Carmilla knew it she was being pushed away, staggering back in the face of Laura’s strength.

“Don’t,” Laura gasped, wiping her mouth roughly on the back of her hand.  Carmilla saw the look of panic in her eyes when she noticed how hard she had pushed her, but Carmilla just shook her head to indicate she was fine.  Laura swallowed hard and let out a heavy breath through her nose.  “You can’t just… you can’t treat me the way you have been the past two weeks and then just…”  Laura looked away, blinking rapidly, and Carmilla felt her heart clench painfully.  She was crying.  “Just don’t.”

“Goddammit,” Carmilla whispered, running her fingers frantically through her hair.  In the absence of Laura’s pacing, there was too much stillness in the room.  So Carmilla started pacing instead.  “I’m sorry, okay?  I don’t… I’ve never… I don’t know how else to…”  She groaned in frustration and leveled a look at Laura.  “You’re better off without me, okay?  People who get close to me just get dragged into my shit.”  She stopped for a moment, facing Laura from across the room.  “I’m life-threatening.  You should steer clear of me.”

“And I’m bulletproof,” Laura replied instantly, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Try again.”

“It’s not…” Carmilla began, flustered.  “It’s not a matter of being bulletproof, it’s…”  She struggled to find the words, the truth building up in her mind like water rushing at a dam.  She was going to break.  She had to tell her.   She fisted her hands in her hair and took a ragged breath.  “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Laura asked warily.

“Of you,” Carmilla blurted without thinking.

That was the wrong thing to say.

Carmilla could practically see Laura’s heart breaking in slow motion.  She flinched like Carmilla had hit her, squeezing her eyes shut.  That was what Laura feared most in the world.  That the people closest to her were afraid of her.  She had confessed it to Carmilla one night under the influence of just enough vodka that the drunk sex they’d just had was really good.

“Shit, Laura, wait,” Carmilla stammered, but it was too late.  She was stepping back, crossing her arms tightly over her chest; she appeared to shrink before Carmilla’s eyes, all hunched shoulders and wet eyes and short breaths.  “That’s not what I meant, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re scared of me,” Laura whispered, shaking her head slowly.

“No,” Carmilla said firmly, and she was striding forward and grabbing Laura’s hands before she realized what she was doing.  Laura tried to pull away, but Carmilla just held on, drawing their tangled fingers to her chest.  “No, Laura, I’m not.  I’m not scared of you.”  Laura finally glanced up, just barely meeting Carmilla’s eyes.  Carmilla wet her lips nervously.  “It’s just… you’re stronger than me.  And that is always going to scare me a little.”

“I would never hurt you,” Laura said quietly, voice shaking, and Carmilla’s heart broke a little more.  “I don’t understand…”

“No, you don’t understand,” Carmilla sighed, squeezing Laura’s hands and looking at the floor.  “Because I never told you.  I never explained…”  The words stuck in her throat and she closed her eyes.  “I know you would never hurt me, Laura.  I _know_ that.  I swear.”

Carmilla met Laura’s eyes again, but she just looked so confused, and Carmilla couldn’t blame her.  She was doing a terrible job of explaining this.  She tugged on Laura’s hands and led her back to the chairs, sitting down in one and waiting for Laura to settle in the other.

“I’ve never… I’ve never talked to anyone about this, and it’s… it’s messed up.  So please just listen, okay?”

Laura nodded, wiping her eyes quickly with the heel of her hand.  Carmilla took a deep breath.

“The woman who took me in after my family died… she told me to call her Mother,” she began slowly, turning her gaze to the floor.  “I didn’t want to.  But I did.  Because she told me to.”  She swallowed hard and dug her fingertips into her knees a little.  It helped her feel grounded.  “That was her power.  She told you to do something.  And you did it.  You had to.  No matter what it was.  No matter if you didn’t want to.”

She had to stop a moment.  Her mouth was dry and her heart was beating loudly in her ears.  But then Laura’s hands were in hers, squeezing slowly, and Carmilla looked up.  Laura was listening with rapt attention, the look in her eyes so caring and concerned that Carmilla had to remind herself to breathe.  Laura just nodded for her to go on, thumbs running softly over Carmilla’s knuckles.

“When she found out about my powers, that was it,” Carmilla murmured, dropping her eyes back down.  “She never let me out of her sway.  I was trapped in my own brain, just watching myself do all these things.  She used me as her muscle to gain influence and power, paved the way for her daughter to become famous.  Got her a popular TV show so Mother could get even _more_ influence and power.  And Mattie had tried to fight back her whole life, but she never found a way, so I knew I was trapped.  And then I… I met…”

Carmilla choked.  She was about to cry, she could feel it.  She turned her head away from Laura, looking out the window.  Her eyes stung.  Goddammit.

But then Laura scooted her chair closer, just enough that their knees touched, and she squeezed Carmilla’s hands again, and why the hell was she being so supportive and kind when Carmilla had been treating her like shit?

“Elle was one of Mattie’s co-stars,” Carmilla said quickly, her tone flat.  “I saw her a lot, what with Mother dragging me along with her everywhere.  We started… talking, when Mother wasn’t actively making me do something.  She made me laugh.  I hadn’t had much reason to laugh in a long time.”

Carmilla wet her lips, agitated.  She refused to look at Laura.  She couldn’t.

“Elle found out, somehow, about what Mother could do,” she continued at length.  “She wanted to help.  Wanted to save me and Mattie, I guess.  But we were all just… we were teenagers.  We didn’t know what we were doing, we didn’t stand a chance against her.  So Mother told me to kill her.”

Laura inhaled sharply and Carmilla held her breath for a few long moments.

“And I killed her.  Because she told me to.”

There were tears running down her face, dripping onto Laura’s knuckles.  She was shaking, and Laura squeezed her hands tighter.

“That was what did it.  That was what saved me.  I killed Elle, and something inside me broke, and Mother couldn’t control me anymore,” Carmilla went on quietly.  Her voice was still steady as stone, despite the tears and the fact that she couldn’t stop shivering.  “She could still control Mattie, though.  So I did the only thing I could do.”

Carmilla sat up straight in her chair, finally meeting Laura’s eyes.

“I killed Mother,” she said simply.  She pulled her hands out of Laura’s grip and Laura looked lost.  “Snapped her neck with my bare hands.”  She curled her fingers into fists, let her nails dig into her palms until it stung.  “Like I said.  It’s messed up.”

They sat in silence for a little while.  Carmilla wasn’t sure how long.

But then Laura’s hands were on her face, her touch light and careful as she smoothed tears away from Carmilla’s cheeks with her thumbs.

“Carm…” she whispered, and she sounded so _sad_.  That wasn’t the point, was it?  Wasn’t she trying to get Laura to leave?

“No, you shouldn’t…” Carmilla shook her head quickly, taking Laura’s wrists in her hands and pushing them away.  “You don’t get it.  When I love people, someone always dies.”

Laura’s mouth opened a bit in surprise and Carmilla got hastily to her feet.  She backed away several steps.  Her hands were shaking.

“I loved Elle and I killed her,” she rambled, shaking her head.  Oh god, this was it, wasn’t it?  She had been so cruel to Laura and she didn’t really know why, but this was it.  She was scared.  Fuck, she was so _scared_.  “I love Mattie and I had to kill someone to save her.”  She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes.  “I couldn’t… if you were… you’re so good, Laura.  You’re just so _good_ and if… because of me…”  She shook her head vehemently.  “I’m not worth it.  I’m not.  Nothing I could ever do would be worth you… you _dying_ because of me.”

Carmilla took a few ragged breaths.  Her throat hurt, like the words were sandpaper and she’d forced them out anyway.  Why had she let this happen?  Why had she let Laura so close?

“You love me?” Laura said, and Carmilla jumped, because when she removed her hands from her eyes Laura was right in front of her.  Her eyes were big and glassy with tears and there was a little wrinkle of concern between her eyebrows that Carmilla had noticed a few times before and she always, _always_ had to stamp down the instinct to lean in and kiss it away.  Carmilla swallowed hard and stood her ground.

“That’s… that’s not the point,” she muttered, but then Laura’s hands were on her waist, tentative and warm, and the words died in her throat.

“Carmilla,” Laura whispered, staring into her eyes imploringly.  “Do you love me?”

Carmilla clenched her jaw.  Her hands were still shaking at her sides.  She curled them into fists and looked down.

“ _God_ , yes,” she said on an exhale, and she heard Laura’s breath hitch but she still didn’t look up.  “I love you so much it hurts.  It’s been killing me, being away from you.  And the thought that it could be hurting you even a little bit makes me feel like I can’t breathe.”

“Carm,” Laura whispered.  Her voice was shaking and she curled her hands around to the small of Carmilla’s back, applying the gentlest of pressure to bring their bodies closer.

“It’s stupid,” Carmilla said quickly, and she hated that her voice had gotten a little higher in her panic.  She hated that having Laura so close made her heart beat out of her chest and being surrounded by the warmth of her and the smell of her made her feel like she was home for the first time since she was normal.  “And selfish.  I can’t… you’re better than this.  Than me.”

“Don’t,” Laura chastised quietly, leaning in just enough that her nose brushed Carmilla’s.  “Don’t do that.  I love you, Carm.”

And she hated how thrilled she was.  She hated that her heart leapt and she felt weightless for a second, like she was flying.  Her hands landed softly on Laura’s forearms, though she didn’t remember moving them.  She wanted to shake her head, but even a small movement would bring their lips together and she would be done for.

“Laura…” Carmilla sighed, shutting her eyes tight.

“Why are you fighting so hard?” Laura whispered, turning a bit and pressing a feathery kiss to Carmilla’s cheek.  Then her jaw.  Then down the side of her neck.  Carmilla nearly melted.  “I know it’s scary.  When I first got here…”  Laura trailed off, pausing with her lips against Carmilla’s fluttering pulse.  “I didn’t want to let anyone in.  I didn’t want to get attached to my new family, or even to Kal-El.  I didn’t want to love anyone, because everyone I loved was gone.  Who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again?”

Laura rarely talked about the fact that Krypton was gone.  She had told Carmilla about her family before, and her family after, but excepting the one night they cried together, she never talked about the mourning.  Coming to accept that her whole planet, her whole culture, her whole way of life had been erased from the universe.  She was so bright and kind and beautiful, it was easy to forget how much she had suffered.

“But my family… Betty, and my parents, they got me to love them anyway,” Laura continued, resting her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.  “And I am so glad they did, because if I’d kept everyone at arms’ length, all I’d be now is alone.”  She lifted her head and slid her hands up to the back of Carmilla’s neck, tugging her down just a bit so she could rest her forehead against hers.  “And I don’t want you to be alone.  I want to be with you.”

Carmilla let out a slow breath.  Her hands had migrated to Laura’s hips at some point, so she lifted them to Laura’s face and ran her thumbs along her jaw.  She was enthralled by the way the soft touches made Laura’s eyelids flutter, made her lips part for a quiet sigh.

“I… I want to be with you, too,” Carmilla finally let herself say.  Laura smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing Carmilla had ever seen.  She had to close her eyes against the brightness of it.  “But I might… I might suck at this.  I mean I probably will.  I don’t really… know how to be with someone.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Laura murmured, nose bumping into Carmilla’s again.  She tilted her head a bit and Carmilla could feel her breath on her lips.

Carmilla couldn’t wait anymore.

She moved in the last inch, catching Laura’s mouth in a soft, slow kiss.  Laura sighed into it and Carmilla smiled against her lips.  It was so different from their desperate kiss earlier, and really from any time they had kissed before.  It just felt like there was _more_ , and Carmilla couldn’t get enough.  Especially when her fingers brushed a ticklish spot on Laura’s neck and she hummed a laugh into Carmilla’s mouth.

It was too much.  Carmilla couldn’t resist.  Before she knew it she had lifted Laura onto the edge of her desk, grunting at the twinge in her shoulder when she did so.  She was kissing her way down Laura’s neck and desperately fumbling at the buttons of Laura’s cardigan when she felt fingers on her wrists, gently pushing her hands away.  She pulled back, looking curiously into Laura’s eyes, and swallowed hard as Laura removed her glasses and carefully set them aside.

“Slowly,” Laura chastised with a fond smile.

Carmilla had never been so turned on in her entire life.

“Slowly,” Carmilla agreed, smirking.  Laura’s eyes darkened when Carmilla reached back and tugged the tie from her ponytail, letting her hair fall in waves around her shoulders and running her fingers through it.

They rid each other of Laura’s sweater and Carmilla’s jacket, Laura’s fingers skimming carefully over Carmilla’s injured shoulder.  Carmilla’s mouth barely left Laura’s, drowning herself in Laura’s slow, sweet kisses.  She sank into her, hands on her lower back to press their bodies as close as possible, and Laura kept pace, fingers in Carmilla’s hair and an occasional hum of contentment in the back of her throat.

There were whispers exchanged, murmurs between heavy breaths whenever their lips parted, Laura assuring Carmilla that she loved her and Carmilla repeating the words back every time.

Laura carried a laughing Carmilla to the bedroom when the make out session turned intense again, despite Laura’s repeated, teasing attempts to get Carmilla to slow down.

She just couldn’t help herself.

* * *

 

Lying beneath the sheets with Laura dozing at her side some time later, Carmilla had to rethink a few things.

For starters, she’d always thought the phrase ‘making love’ when referring to sex was just a weird straight people exaggeration.  But she’d just learned the difference.  She had never realized it could be so _good_ , so satisfying beyond just the physical aspect.

Laura let out a content little sigh and Carmilla looked over at her.  Her eyes were closed comfortably, head resting on the pillow close enough that her hair fluttered a bit with every breath Carmilla took.  Carmilla had an arm around her shoulders and she was cuddled into Carmilla’s side, arms around her waist and legs tangled together.  Laura was running a hand slowly back and forth across Carmilla’s stomach, and every so often it would tickle just enough for her abdominal muscles to twitch and Laura would laugh.

In short, it was perfect.  Carmilla felt _safe_.  It was a feeling she was so unused to, but damn, she kind of loved it.

Carmilla tilted her head to leave a soft, lingering kiss on Laura’s forehead.  Laura smiled.

“You so love me,” she murmured sleepily, and Carmilla laughed.

Carmilla had almost drifted off to sleep when she felt Laura tense beside her.

“Your sister, her name is Mattie?” she asked quietly.

Carmilla opened her eyes and found Laura staring at her, a thoughtful frown on her face.

“Yeah, why?” Carmilla mumbled, turning a bit and wrapping both her arms and her legs around Laura’s body to pull her close.  Laura grinned at that, pressing her forehead to Carmilla’s comfortably.

“You said she had a TV show?”

Carmilla hummed affirmatively.

“It was actually pretty popular for a while,” she shrugged.  “You might have watched it.  ‘It’s Matsy.’”

Laura sat up so abruptly Carmilla nearly fell out of the bed.

“What the hell?” Carmilla grumbled, sitting up slowly.

“Your sister is Matska Belmonde?” Laura demanded.  “As in CEO of MatCo Worldwide Media Matska Belmonde?”

“Yeah, I’m the only one who gets to call her Mattie,” Carmilla sighed, shrugging again.  She didn’t understand what the problem was, so she reached out and ran a hand through Laura’s hair.  “What’s the big deal, cupcake?”

“Carmilla, your sister is my boss,” Laura said, distractedly reaching up and lacing her fingers through Carmilla’s.

“I thought you worked at the DEO,” Carmilla said with a frown, tugging Laura’s hand into her lap and tracing her fingertips along the lines of her palm.

“As Supergirl, yeah,” Laura replied blankly, staring at Carmilla with wide eyes.  “But as Laura Hollis, I work, like, directly for you sister.”  Carmilla apparently still didn’t understand what Laura was trying to tell her.  A lot of people worked at MatCo.  “Carm… has Miss Belmonde ever talked to you about her assistant?”

Carmilla nodded, gaze focused on her fingers running along Laura’s wrist.  She drew Laura’s hand up to her lips and kissed her palm.

“Yeah, Lyra,” she murmured, lips tickling the heel of Laura’s hand.  “What about her?”

“Carm, I’m Lyra,” Laura blurted, tugging her hand from Carmilla’s grip and pointing to herself.  “I’m your sister’s assistant.”

Carmilla just stared at her for a few long moments.  She shook her head, laughing a bit.

“No, that’s…” she trailed off, really thinking back to all her conversations with Mattie involving her assistant.  How eager she was, to the point that it was annoying.  How dedicated she was, to the point that it was annoying.  How she seemed to disappear every so often, but she always came back and made up for the work she missed by working twice as hard, to the point that it was annoying.  “Ooooooh.  Oh.  Oh, wow.”

“Oh my god, you’re Little Monster,” Laura said, pointing to Carmilla with a sly smile on her face.  Carmilla balked.  She had never expected that nickname to come out of Laura’s mouth.

“She calls me Little Monster at work?” she groaned.  “That bitch.”

“Carm, holy crap,” Laura laughed, shaking her head.  “She’s like… my mentor.  Both as me and as Supergirl.”  She reached out and took Carmilla’s hands in hers, squeezing them excitedly.  “She’s given me some really great advice, and it makes so much sense now because she has experience with people like me.”  She leaned in and pressed the next words against Carmilla’s lips.  “Because of _you_.”

“Glad I could help, darling,” Carmilla sighed, grinning into the kiss.  Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s shoulders and tipped over, dragging them both back down onto the pillows in a giggling mess of naked limbs.  “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Laura said through her smile.

So yeah, she was in love with Supergirl.  And now they were dating or something.

And Supergirl was in love with her too.  So that was pretty great.

Oh to hell with it, it was the best thing that had ever happened her.


End file.
